It’s been a heavy few weeks. Between the anniversary of family loss and the reality of a marriage hitting a wall, I’ve felt lost. In this post, I’m sharing why I’m shifting this site from 'selling' to 'sharing,' how Reformer Pilates is helping me rebuild, and why I’ve decided to stop walking on eggshells and start living for myself again

This week has been the opposite of the high-energy "180-degree turn" I hoped for. My energy has plummeted, my sleep is non-existent, and a recent blood test confirmed my T4 is too high. But the physical struggle is only half of it. After trying to address my fears and the lack of accountability in my marriage, I’ve been met with "heads buried in the sand." My plans for 2026 feel shattered as I sit at the bottom of Bridal Veil Falls, watching the goats live freely, wondering if losing myself to keep others happy was ever worth it.

This week has been a "blink and you’ll miss it" blur, but in the best way possible. My energy has been great, allowing me to spend a phone-free day at the beach and a walk around the Mount with my youngest. This week also brought a massive realisation: I’ve worked too hard to get my health back to spend my life tied to making products and shipping orders. I’m doing a 180—shifting my focus to sharing the recipes and knowledge that helped me heal, rather than the products themselves.

Welcome to 2026! We’re kicking off another year of "will it go right or will it turn to custard?" I’m starting the year feeling energized but hitting a few speed bumps with air hunger as my thyroid settles into its new dose. I’ve made a strategic move to drop my HRT to two pumps to avoid medication binding, and it’s working—the joint pain is staying away. Between the success of my new floor tiles and painting the porch, I’m looking at a busy January of DIY projects and a 50-chick housing shuffle, all while navigating a garden that has become a bit of a wasteland!

This week, I’ve finally hit the "sweet spot" with my health. By balancing my thyroid medication and dropping my HRT to three pumps, the "on-edge" feeling is gone and the pain hasn't returned. But as the physical fog clears, the mental work begins. I’m navigating the "imposter syndrome" that comes with building on land I don't own and the "wake-up call" perimenopause gave me regarding self-respect. I'm also looking ahead to 2026 with exciting plans, including a level 3 course in Māori Food Sovereignty and a new direction for my chick business.

What a difference a week (and a T4 increase) makes! I've had a truly good week, celebrating a huge energy boost, the return of my appetite, and better digestion. The pain is now mild and bearable. I share the progress on my two-year relaxation area (finally using it!), the fun of the Peking chickens, and the surprisingly validating experience of having my doctor listen to, and approve of, the self-adjustments I made to my thyroid medication.

Summer is here, and so is the holiday struggle: I'm driving the beautiful Far North, but dealing with an extreme TSH crash that makes climbing stairs and breathing a struggle. I share the reality of my travel coping mechanisms—relying on ibuprofen just to manage the searing hip pain while sitting, and the simple food choices necessary to fuel me. My biggest win this year remains the hard-won voice I found after my perimenopause diagnosis.

It's the last week of spring, and despite achieving stability in pain, a new crisis is emerging. My latest blood tests revealed a shocking T3 plummet and high TSH—a direct side effect of HRT impacting my thyroid. I use this moment to share my full, painful 10-year Hashimoto's journey: the early dismissal by doctors, the necessity of having my husband speak for me, and the eventual self-rescue through community groups that taught me about optimal ferritin and B12 levels. This post is a powerful reminder that our chronic health journey is rarely linear.

This week has been another success story thanks to the 4 pumps of Estrogen Gel, bringing sustained energy and pain relief. However, this stability has allowed me to look back at the early, unspoken signs of perimenopause that doctors dismissed and I wrongly attributed to my Hashimoto's. I detail the bizarre symptoms that cleared up with HRT—like a persistent itchy ear, heart palpitations, and chronic nighttime leg twitching—and share the current frustration of the bronze beetles eating my trees, proving the learning curve never ends.

This week, the high-stakes adjustments truly paid off. I detail how increasing my HRT (4 pumps Estrogen Gel) zapped 90% of the pain and how adding T4 banished the freezing cold. I share my biggest learning: the power of "small tweaks." By cutting one food item (coconut), my appetite returned, proving every wellness journey is unique. I also recount the "Brazil Nut Lesson" on why testing selenium and trusting your gut—not generalised advice—is vital for Hashimoto's and perimenopause management.

This week was defined by the impossible task of working out which symptom belongs to which condition. I share my hard-won trick for distinguishing Perimenopause fatigue (tiredness with dry, "bogly" eyes) from Thyroid fatigue (bone-deep exhaustion). After hitting a wall of joint pain and extreme cold, I had to take bold action, self-adjusting both Estrogen Gel (4 pumps) and T4 medication. I detail the immediate, surprising recovery, the small victories, and the reality of sometimes missing medication—because life doesn't stop, even when you do.

This week was a whirlwind of time loss and physical recovery. After a nerve flare-up, progesterone provided welcome relief, despite the short-term side effects. While the 3 pumps of Estrogel have me feeling about 50/50, I'm still battling afternoon fatigue and hip pain, indicating I need more support for inflammation. Big wins include a better diet, embracing my dog Rocky's chaos, and celebrating the deep understanding and support from my family. I am on the right path, moving past the guilt and getting closer to balance.

My busy schedule caused a full-blown crash as intense Hashimoto's fatigue met returning perimenopause joint pain. This week, I detail the price of pushing my limits, the inevitable retreat, and the strange side effect of zero appetite and weight gain on HRT. I share the reality of how little energy is left for chores, the battle to plant the killer pumpkins, and the necessary steps I'm taking to protect my fragile energy balance.

After my perimenopause joint pain returned dramatically, my HRT balance shattered. Faced with six-week doctor wait times and high specialist costs, I made the difficult decision to increase my Estrogen Gel to three pumps without medical approval. This post details the intense return of joint pain and emotional chaos, and why I chose self-advocacy over weeks of suffering. I also share how I'm handling the energy drain from the new external commitments and the unique difficulty of slow food digestion caused by my condition.

In this candid follow-up, I share the messy reality of life after the HRT breakthrough. While the first few days felt like a total cure (even allowing me to weed the garden!), my symptoms quickly returned, proving that recovery is non-linear. I detail the strategies I now use to manage my limited energy—including a strict midday rest rule—and the specific, daily struggles of balancing housework with the mental toll of Hashimoto's fatigue and perimenopause joint pain. Most importantly, I open up about the debilitating guilt of capability that comes with relying on my hard-working husband.

Like the perfect reflection on Lake Matheson, this post is about finally finding clarity after 18 months of medical confusion. Despite having great blood work and being told my severe joint, bone, and muscle pain was a "mystery" (since I didn't have hot flashes!), I was completely derailed. My clean diet and supplements failed me, but I refused to give up. I finally found a menopause specialist doctor and started Estrogen Gel and Progesterone HRT. The relief was immediate and life-changing, alleviating the severe pain and confirming that HRT for perimenopause joint pain was the answer. This is a story about listening to your body, fiercely advocating for your true reflection of health, and finding peace beyond the conventional checklist.